Sometimes the anticipation of dessert exceeds the joy that eating the dessert provides.

The first time we try something new, I do a lot of research.  I like to make sure that the experience the kids have is equal to that of the other kids around them. After having a good experience we are 200% more likely to return. While birthday parties will always be a bit challenging, at least I know that heading to a new restaurant or candy factory will result in some type of mouthwatering satisfaction.

While on one of our recent adventures, we spent a week in Chicago trying to fit everything fun we could think of into one week. The first request on my daughters list was the American Girl Doll Store. There’s a lot of love shown when you are willing to fork over as much cash to get your daughter’s doll hair done, as you would to get her own hair cut and styled.

A natural inclusion to the hair, nails and new outfit (which costs more than my last trip to the spa) is a meal in the coveted cafe. Naturally, there’s nothing better than having dinner with a room full of people who have dolls strapped to their tables, enjoying micro cups of tea and bantering about the hair ties are holding their napkins into the perfect roll. This is natural, right?

Actually, it was quite adorable. And my daughter ate it up. We just won’t even mention my son considering how many times he flipped over his chair and tried to launch food from his fork to the window behind him. Suffice to say, it probably wasn’t the choice place for him but leaving him alone in the lego store wasn’t an option either.

As we approached the time to eat, we were surprised to see that the opening appetizer was a gooey cinnamon roll. Not gluten free. Boo. As our salivating continued, we were presented with a strawberry in lieu. A strawberry. One each.

The next course was devoid of the pita and filled with lots of tomatoes, the one food my kids loathe more than deep fried beetles. A few carrots and celery sticks later, they sat back and waited for their chosen entrees.

A happy eight year old girl ate her gluten free pizza, since she is ONLY allergic to gluten and pineapple. My stunt man, however, was still wishing we would have left him in the lego store as he was presented with grilled chicken and steamed veggies. The one meal that will leave a Celiac wishing they were on a cleanse. I managed to talk them out of some barbecue sauce, which my son claims cures all food woes, including salad. He still wouldn’t eat it. And this kid eats anything (except the afore mentioned tomatoes).

Waiting in great anticipation for the final course, the flower on our patio of a $22 dinner (with no alcohol), we were presented with a scoop of sorbet instead of the blueberry muffin we were supposed to receive. Upon further inspection we were advised that people who didn’t RSVP and request allergy free muffins, were given ours and the cafe ran out.

While they kindly acknowledged that the bakery was closed, they felt sheepish and lavished a bag full of fun logo items on my daughter, it left me wondering what the point was in making a reservation and filling out the allergy request form if they were going to just give our pre-reserved treats to someone who didn’t.

The amount of events that include some type of food consumption are astounding. From birthday parties to wedding celebrations and everything in between, most hosts anticipate feeding their guests. Some events are snack based and others are five course meals. Regardless of the magnitude of the provisions, food allergies are something that every host needs to anticipate.

When I am hosting an event, I will always have options for people with food allergies. The irony is the people who eat the food are not just those with allergies. It turns out that you can create a lovely spread of consumables that the average non-allergic attendee will never suspect are free from gut wrenching allergens.

Unfortunately, most hosts don’t anticipate the needs of anyone who isn’t on a high-fructose containing, processed foods, high percentage of food dye diet containing gluten, dairy, eggs and peanuts.

Whether they are afraid of the unknown, find us to be annoying, expensive or just difficult to plan for, it becomes difficult to desire get-togethers knowing you won’t be able to eat. I don’t mind bringing my favorite crackers, bread or pretzels. I’m not offended if someone says they will have several dips that are gluten free and asks me to bring my favorite starchy items to dip. What better way to make sure you like the crackers. But inviting someone to dinner and telling them they must bring their own meal is truly something unacceptable.

Maybe they just don’t want to change up Aunt Mary’s famous meatloaf recipe. Whatever the reason, it’s perceived as offensive when you are left to plan your own meal after being invited as a guest.

Occasionally, I am pleasantly surprised by a foodie who has embraced the challenge as an opportunity to learn something new. These are the hosts that would never invite someone over without having satisfying food to make their guests feel special and equally provided for.   In fact, they might be offended if you drag your zip lock baggie full of gluten free treats to their table.

While I have been known to have more snacks in my purse than a mother of two year old triplets, I prefer not to show up at a party and have to dig in my secret stash of snacks. “Hey, don’t worry about me, I’m just going to dig into my protein bars, smoked almonds and beef jerky. Could someone bring me a Chopin Martini?”

Who else is tired of bringing their own meal? Do you have suggestions that have helped you transition to an allergy free hostess?

When visiting a country who’s primary language isn’t english, one may learn to ask where the bathroom is or how to order a cocktail in the resident language. While both are valuable to communicate, none compares to the desire to order food without being poisoned. During my week long stay in Puerto Rico, I was pleasantly surprised to find that “Comida sin gluten, por favor” was most effective in communicating my needs. I also found that a great deal of the local fare was naturally gluten free. And might I add, AMAZING!?

At a local restaurant in downtown Old San Juan, I had a tasty version on Escabeche with a tangy olive oil based sauce on fresh shrimp and calamari. At a quaint restaurant near our hotel I had Puerto Rican grilled pork chops. Everywhere I went I ordered tostones and sweet plantains. And my favorite meals came from our hotel, The Ritz Charles San Juan. I’m in awe of their preparation. Buffet lines were labeled gluten free, dairy free and vegetarian. Every chef I encountered knew, not only how to cook gluten free, but how to make some of the most delectable meals gluten free.

Most people think of room service as a last ditch effort to gain sustenance during moments when pizza can’t even be delivered. It’s not typically to find a gourmet meal that leaves you wanting more. I was fortunate enough to experience a room service meal that was unparalleled. According to a local bartender (who was extremely informative) plantains are used as a substitute for gluten based ingredients in many local dishes. This includes my room service meal, Lasagna. Layers of plantain were used in place of noodles to layer this thick casserole dish. As a result, I’m ordering a puerto rican cookbook and changing up some of our family meals to reflect much of the Puerto Rican cuisine.

From the weather, to the culture, sandy beaches and bright sunshine, the trip left me yearning for another week. It was Chef Simon Porter at the Mares restaurant in the Ritz that put the visit over the top. Not only did he create for me a lovely version of blueberry gluten free/rice free pancakes on the spot, but he also pre-prepared a gluten free/rice free version of a local delicacy for me, Guava Pancakes. They take forty-five minutes to create as they are infused with homemade guava paste. They are likely the most mouth watering treat I have ever had the pleasure of enjoying.

Feel comfortable traveling to Puerto Rico and know that if you take a suitcase full of granola bars with you, you will be paying to bring them home too.

I read a meme the other day by a celiac making reference to “Torture Tuesday,” as in the day that donuts are delivered to their office every week. The reference highlighted the exclusion they felt because there were no gluten free options provided.

These experiences create a mix of emotions including a little anger, disgust and often defeat. In an age where playground park benches are created for the kid that feels left out, I often feel like I’m sitting alone on wet paint, invisible to those playing around me.

Countless birthdays with no cake or cupcakes. Lunches with endless salads, if anything at all. Cookies, muffins and other assorted treats made with dough. It’s amazing to me the lack of inclusion that is societally acceptable.

Don’t get me wrong, I love gluten eaters, I’m even married to one but I assure you that he would not choose to dine where I can’t eat (even if he did consume the entire bread basket in front of me) and we have walked out of more than a dozen places that told me I could “just eat a salad”.

It’s astounding when I chat with people who find it acceptable to order a family style meal for meeting that is gluten based, even though someone in the room can’t eat it. However, the tables turned significantly when asked if they would do the same to their boss.

A friend of mine works for a gentleman that is Jewish and requires meals to be Kosher. This tends to limit options for selections as well, but I assure you that she has never ordered a meal that wasn’t Kosher and chimed, “they didn’t have anything for you, sorry.”

Most people who are on a special diet don’t want to be bothersome but what if it was a client? Would you risk making them feel excluded? Knowing about an allergy and ignoring it is rude and disrespectful and can speak volumes.

I lost the desire to avoid being bothersome years ago. I have been on this diet for seventeen years and I have the right to eat too.  I have days that I don’t care, like the day after being contaminated… seriously, don’t even show me a donut. However, in most cases I love to be included! Who doesn’t?

Granted, gluten free meals aren’t available everywhere and it might take some research, fine tuning and (lord forbid) asking the affected persons for input on delightful dining choices but rather than thinking, “wow, this is a pain” or “we just won’t have as many choices, it won’t matter if they eat salad… again” maybe ask yourself, if I had to eat this (again), would I enjoy it? And STOP yourself before uttering the words “I think” this is gluten free or “it should be” gluten free. If you can’t double check, don’t bother guessing.

Welcome to January!

Ok, so I’m a tad late on the welcome wagon but before it’s over I want to check in with everyone on their New Year goals (ahem, resolutions). Have you dropped the unwanted 20 pounds, rearranged your filing system, spent more time with family or ate healthier meals?

Did you know that approximately 45% of people make resolutions, only 10% of them fully commit and one in three people ditch their vows by the end of January.  The same study indicated that the top resolutions involve weight loss, finances and exercise?

Ok, but did you know that 67% of people who have gym memberships never use them? Or that $750 Million dollars in gift cards went unused in 2014? I know, I want all of the Starbucks ones too. Seriously, maybe we can trade.

A friend recently lamented to me that they felt their membership should be refunded because they simply don’t use it. After I inquired if they cancelled it, they replied no. It wasn’t until it renewed that they realized they didn’t have the interest in putting forth effort to make it worth while.

Basically, they are part of the 67% of people who sign up and don’t commit, yet expect a refund because they weren’t willing to give it the ole’ college try; And hitting a yoga class once a month doesn’t qualify.

Gym memberships, like other types of memberships don’t do the work for you. In fact, you have to get your butt to the gym, sweat it out on the treadmill and put some skin in the game. Just having a membership will not drop the pounds, tone the abs or build muscle mass.

Try it out this year and put your memberships to work for you. Invest in them if you want them to work, don’t expect miracles without pixie dust and if all else fails, cancel them before they renew. The ball is in your racket ball court.

Stats from Harris Interactive, [research in the Journal of Clinical Psychology](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11920693), FranklinCovey, Bodybuilding.com,University of Scranton, and Wall Street Journal Online/Harris Interactive Health-Care Poll.

Do you know the difference between sales and marketing?

Some firms like to give their sales reps the title of marketing representative to make it a softer presentation. The problem is in communicating what they do. Thinking in simple terms, marketing will lead them to the water, sales will (if effective) teach them to drink. Tell them what you do.

Shift your paradigm.

For those not familiar, a paradigm is a standard pattern or norm. People who are ineffective with their current norm, would greatly benefit from shaking things up and trying a new approach. I’m sure you have heard society’s definition of insanity: doing the same thing over-and-over expecting a different result.

Are you showing up physically and mentally?

The typical sales position leaves a great deal of room for the idolized flexible schedule. Unfortunately, there are few people who are successful at having both a flexible schedule and successful sales levels. The rule of thumb for a sales schedule is to be diligent about being in the office from 8-5 unless you are meeting with a client.

Establish good habits.

Feeding off the above example, it’s easy to consider yourself in sales and still be in your pajamas at 10am, running errands, helping out friends or doing excessive networking. You must act like being in the office drives your success, in order to create a habit of success.

“People fail to achieve mastery not because they aren’t talented but because they aren’t disciplined.” -Dan Pink

Action orient your goals.

Everyone needs goals, yet it’s not enough to put them on paper. Implementation is the key. Planning, creating a business plan, marketing plan and daily contact calendar are great ways to get started however, make certain you deliberately put each item into action.

Face your fears.

Whatever you are most afraid of, do it first. I was talking with a friend that motivates young sales representatives. He told me that he challenges them to get kicked out of a prospects office at least once a quarter. This task teaches them to push for the sale in spite of their personal fear of asking for the business. Additionally, these challenges always make them exceed their goals.

If you are afraid of someone saying no, ask more often. If your palms get sweaty when you make phone calls, increase your call ratio. The only way to overcome obstacles is to get used to navigating them. Knowing that a necessary action makes you uncomfortable is the best reason to attack that task first.

“Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.” – Jack Canfield

Are you sweet as honey? Or a mean one?

I was watching “How the Grinch stole Christmas” last week with my kids and it reminded me that people don’t always choose to be mean. Sometimes we fall into a pattern unexpectedly because of the way we are treated by others. He really gave it a go, even against his own desires and he was still mistreated until the end. If not for the love of a child, he would still be up in the cave trying to ruin Christmas.

Do you know someone like this? Someone who preys on others for their own benefit? Let’s just call them the Mayor of Whoville. Unfortunately, some people don’t feel they can succeed unless they bring someone else down. It’s all based on fear.

The old saying, “you can’t change someone” may be true. However, you can positively influence them enough to want to change on their own. Join me in having this influence on the un-influenceable!

Join this mantra: “I am strong and independent. I help make change. I take action. I make things better. I care for others. My growth is not dependent upon others failure. I can make my own success. I don’t need to take from others. I will stand up for what is right. I will make a difference with my actions. I will do my best every day. I will lead with integrity. I will approach every day with thankfulness. Someday I will change the world.”