Emotions and change – two topics that elicit beads of sweat and diversion tactics.

Weather it’s a daily routine upheaval due to a sick child, or decades of normalcy shifting in the retirement of a spouse, change requires patience. Everyone needs time to adjust to a new (or temporary) norm. This accepted paradigm shift can assist in the enjoyment level, ease of transition and management of stress, that comes from change.

Think about your drive to work this morning. How many traffic pattern changes were altered due to construction? This seems to exaserbate motorists attempting to get from A to B, when caught off guard. However, if you were given the information last night and had time to create an action plan to avoid the bottle neck, the stress was lessened because you were allowed to take control of your schedule and path.

So, if your day includes short-term snafus including a full moon, a cranky child, or co-workers that are out sick; or the long-term change of retirement, divorce, loss or relocation, give yourself time to adjust, embrace the new situation and approach it with the same vigor that you did with your previous routine. And keep in mind, you may not be the only one adjusting. Give grace to your family and friends (or cohorts stuck in traffic) as you are all trying to navigate in a new direction.

The next time you find yourself backing out of a friends dinner party using the excuse that you have to celebrate your sister-inlaws step-dads birthday… just say, “no thank you.”

Do you find yourself making excuses for things that you should  politely decline? Do you feel pressure to make an excuse for something that isn’t a priority in your life? Is it the same reason you find it difficult to click the RSVP button indicating you “Can’t go?”

Sure, you might be missed. You might feel like you won’t be invited in the future. But when the time comes for an event that is a priority, you will know the activities you participate in are choices, not defaults. Thus you will be able to respond quickly and efficiently, knowing that you will indeed attend!

There’s nothing wrong with claiming the things in your life of important. In fact, friends will appreciate your candor more than your sheepish rejection mascarading as a candlelight vigil for your neighbor’s daughters iguana.

Own it. Claim it. Live it.

Over a year ago, I went to see a friend and apologized for not seeing her more often. She asked what I have been up to and I said, “I’m just so busy.” She replied in a laugh, “you do it to yourself.”

That became a turning point for me and my “busy life.”

I realize that successful people are busy. But busy people are not always successful. What it takes is streamlining, focus and ownership. That’s when I decided that I wanted to make better use of my time and create a plan.

Much like a business, our lives need direction. I  like to start with a communications plan and ask myself several questions:

1. What is your goal?
2. What is your objective?
3. What time frame are we looking at?
4. What are your priorities? (target)

So often in our lives, we jump right into the strategies and tactics, forgetting about the overall goal. When the dust from back-to-back social activities settles, we are left with no time for the things that matter most.

There is no harm in being busy, as long as you are busy with purpose. My self assessment resulted with several revolutions:

1. Sometimes, I must tell people NO.
2. I must own up to why I am saying no.
3. It’s okay to change my plan as I go.

Are you busy? Do you know why?